Monday 29 September 2014

Hard Times

“ANNA! ANNA! ANNA! ANNA! ANNA!” Mickey – Nick’s little sister was squealing in an attempt to wake me up.

 
“Mickey! Hi beautiful! Why are you up so early...”I asked, my voice was crockey and a massive hangover was coming my way.

“I missed you Annie, I haven’t seen you since my 4th birthday party!” She laughed sitting next to me on the bed.

“I know, did Nick give you your present from me?” I asked trying to orientate myself.

“Yesssssssss I love Barbie movies, how did you know?” She asked staring into my eyes.

“I’m not telling you...” I winked at her, only then did I notice Nick standing in his doorway with a cup of coffee for me. Suddenly memories from last night flooded back to me, the confession, and the awkward pauses. It was almost too much to bear.

“ANNA! Is it true she’s here?” I heard Nick’s mum Lillian bellowing out for me, Nick just shook his head, “She’s in here mum!”

We had a lovely reunion in Nick’s bedroom, my bra half hanging off and my make-up was smothered all over my face. Nicks mum was this awesome bohemian woman; she wore long floral skirts and always left her red hair wild untamed. She was carefree and absolutely beautiful. Her husband Greg was the complete opposite, he was serious and definitely not a bohemian man. But you could tell he was completely infatuated with her, and he always looked truly happy when the whole family was all together.

“So what are you doing after I make you breakfast?” Lillian asked.

“I’m just going to get my dad to pick me up. He should be done with the farm stuff early today.”

“I’ll just drive you home it’s not a problem.” Nick said, it had been one of the first things he said to me all day. I simply nodded a reply, all while Lillian was giving us a strange look; she was too intuitive for her own good.

After a painfully awkward couple of hours of hanging out with Nick and his family they finally let us leave, now it was time for a painfully awkward car ride.

“Anna can we talk about last night?” Nick asked.

“I don’t think I want to, I would very much like to forget about last night...”

“So what, you didn’t mean it then?” He asked, sounding a little bit angry.

“What does it matter Nick? Regardless nothing could happen. Your reaction last night...it proved it.”

“For fucks sake Anna, it was a huge surprise...you want me to just react like I was expecting this?”

“No of course you weren’t expecting this, because it hasn’t been obvious, especially over the last six 
months.”

“Actually Anna it hasn’t been. Yeah you’ve been acting differently the last few months, I just that had something to do with your...new look.” He said.

“Ah yes my new look...which you failed to even mention.” I said a little bitterly.

“What am I supposed to say Anna? You look good since you lost weight.” He practically yelled.
I was shocked that he got so angry, I just sat there staring at him.

 “I didn’t mean it like that. I am dealing with a lot of shit right now Anna, like a lot. Millie and I just broke up…this is just too much for me right now.” He said looking at me like he was genuinely pained.

“Just pull over please, just let me out of the car, I get it...” Tears threatened to spill on my cheeks, I think a few did.

He just sighed as he pulled over, and I realised that things would definitely not be the same for a while.

Saturday 27 September 2014

The Confession



I’d been dancing with Billy on and off for like half an hour when suddenly I noticed Millie and Nick having an argument in the corner. They were huddled up together in a tense looking conversation, Nick was gesturing wildly and Millie was pushing at his chest. Will walked over and interrupted them and I quickly turned my attention back to Billy. 

“Anna, I think we’re going to go.” Will snuck up behind me, giving me the ‘did you see that?’ eyes.

“I can take her home later mate.” Billy interrupted smiling down at me.

“I think I’ll just stay here for a bit longer, I’m fine with Billy.” I answered grabbing my cider and having a big sip.

“No Anna, it’s not a good idea to stay.” Nick was suddenly at our side too, his face stormy.

“What’s your problem man? We’re having fun.” Billy replied quickly.

“You’ve been drinking, so you can’t drive and I’m not just gonna leave her here alone with you.” Nick answered forcefully.

Billy went to say something back but I interrupted;

“No it’s ok Billy, I’ll just see you at school on Monday...I probably should get home anyway.” I said 
trying to keep the peace.

“Alright Anna, whatever you want. Can I at least have a quick kiss goodbye?” Billy asked with a cheeky smile.

I smiled at him and kissed his cheek, he quickly turned his face so our lips connected briefly. Nick sighed in the background.

“What’s your problem?” I said as Nick was grabbing my arm and leading me to the car. The other two were already waiting, we snuck back into the back seat, while the Marie and Will sung to the radio extremely off key.

“I don’t have a problem; I just don’t want you to waste your time with a guy like Billy.”

“What’s wrong with Billy?” I said with a bite to my voice.

“His not good enough for you…Anna, you don’t need to settle for a guy like Billy.” His tone 
 softened.

“I am not settling for anyone Nick, I was just having fun. What’s going on with you and Millie?” I said keeping my voice low, Will and Marie didn’t need to hear this convo.

“We broke up. She…she…it’s just a mess Anna.” He said shaking his head.

“Is there anything I can do for you Nick?” I said looking up at him.

“You’re doing everything you can right now.” He said as he kissed me on the forehead.

“I’m sorry.” I said pain etched all over his face.

I vaguely heard the other two turn the radio down and start talking about the party, but I just slept leaning against Nick in Wills old car, to be honest I’ve never felt more at home then when I was with Nick.

Will ended up giving Nick his car for the night, so he didn’t have to back track in his car. After the other two were dropped off, it was just me and Nick, it was now or never I suppose...Worse comes to worse I could blame it on the alcohol in the morning, and hopefully it would all work out.

“Nick, I’m going to say something...and then if things get awkward well we’re just going to ignore it in the morning, ok?” I said carefully.

“Hit me with it Anna Banana.” Nick said barely paying attention to what I was saying.

I started laughing uncontrollably, that’s what happens when I get nervous, “I have feelings for you.” I said laughing and snorting all the way through my short sentence.

“What kind of feelings Anna?” He asked still not convinced on what he was about to hear.

“I would like to be with you…feelings.” I answered tears pricking my eyes.

Nick’s face when from confusion to shock in a matter of seconds, he had plenty of girls telling him they had feelings for him, I guess he wasn’t expecting it to be me.

“Umm...ah...oh, I uh don’t know...what to umm say...”He finished awkwardly. Suddenly my cheeks burned with embarrassment, I guess it wasn’t the right time. It didn’t help that we weren’t getting to my house quickly; Nick had practically slowed to a full stop.

“I think it’s pretty clear you...don’t have to say anything.” I muttered, completely avoiding eye contact with him as tears threatened to spill on my face.

“No I’m just surprised...I don’t...” He mumbled, obviously not knowing how to react.
I finally plucked the courage to look at him, “Just take me home please Nick.”

“Um ok, are you sure you’re ok to go home? Your dad won’t be too mad, that your drunk and getting home after curfew?”

“No it won’t matter...” I answered, even though it would definitely matter.

“Well...I already texted your brother and said you were staying at mine, so...”

I don’t know why he couldn’t have told me earlier, before I confessed my feelings to him and I was forced into a painfully awkward sleepover.

“...great.” 


“So umm you can just sleep in my bed...did you want me to sleep on the couch...or?” Nick was being even more awkward then me. He and I had plenty of sleepovers, and we had always just shared his bed, it was never an issue with his parents, as we’d known each other for ever, that’s just the way it always was. 

“No, just go to sleep Nick...” I said crawling to the edge of the bed, as far away from Nick as possible.

Thursday 25 September 2014

The Red Dress



As I thought Marie and I raided her mums cupboard, I found a lovely red dress, it was nothing like I’d normally wear but this was beautiful. It has t-shirt length shoulders and it was backless, I was hoping to get a little bit of attention tonight. Marie went for a black dress, it was spaghetti strapped and short, tight around the bust and it flowed down to her just above her knees. Black was a brave colour for Marie, she has beautiful red hair, cut in a short bob and lovely milky skin. My hair was a light brown and was just passed my bust; I was a little bit tanner then Marie but not much.

“I hope tonight’s good.” Marie said slurping the last bit of the wine from the bottle.

“I think it will be, everyone’s going.” I said reapplying my smudged lippy.

“Hmm are you going to be ok, you know with Nick and Millie most likely all over each other tonight.” Marie asked.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”  I asked trying to avoid too much questioning.

“Let’s stop avoiding the obvious.” She said.

I hesitated, but if I was going to tell the truth it might as well be now, in the morning I could blame it on the one and a half bottles of white wine I consumed before arriving to the party.

“Yes, I have some feeling for him, but I’m not planning ANYTHING about it. I will not be losing Nick as a friend for the possibility of something more.”

“I will drop it for now, but I honestly don’t think this will be the last you hear of it.” She said mysteriously.

“ANNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, Nick’s here!” My dad shouted from downstairs.

We hurriedly hide the wine bottles and ran downstairs.

“Thanks dad, see you later.” I bellowed from the front door.

“Call me if you are staying out too late.” My dad called back.


“Hey, hey! You look beautiful.” Nick said with a quick embrace, as he was opening the door for me, Marie jumped into the front seat.

“Thank you, thank you,” I said as I slid into the back of his car where Will was waiting in the driver’s seat, “What’s going on why are you here?”

“Ah I’m just gonna meet Millie at the party...” He said mysteriously.

We drove for about 20 minutes before we got to Millie’s, and slowly despite not having a drink for over half an hour was getting woozier by the second.

“Nick...is everything ok with you and Millie?” I asked quietly while we were sitting in the back seat.

“Uh yeah, I guess. It’s weird lately I don’t know.” He answered.

“Hit me with it...come on, no secrets.” I replied.

“It’s nothing really, I’m not feeling quiet the same about Millie anymore. It’s just different lately.”

“Any reason why? I mean you guys haven’t been official long, and she seems pretty nice.”

“Can we leave it Anna? I don’t know why, I’m just not feeling the same about her anymore and I don’t think she’s feeling it either.” He said shortly, effectively shutting me the hell up.

 We pulled up in the driveway and suddenly someone was tugging me out of the car.

“Hi you gorgeous woman you, seriously when did that bod’ get so damn sexy.” Billy said embracing me for a hug. Billy family is one of the big 6 in our town, big 6 being the farm owners, so Nick and I practically grew up with him.

“Oh stop it, you know I’ve been trying to get my lard ass skinny for ages.” I joked.

“Well missy you better save me a dance tonight. I have to say I danced with the hottest girl here...” 
He smiled, I studied his face, although his smile didn’t quiet fill me up the way Nick’s did, it was still lovely. And if Nick didn’t want me, it was definitely time to move on.

“I certainly will.” I said as he put his arm around my waist and pulled me inside.

I only just heard Nick in the background, “I guess his chosen his meat for the night.”

“Jealous Nicky boy?” Will asked before their conversation was drowned out from the party noises.