Communication Breakdown

I walked inside my house, George following close behind. It had been literally two weeks and my dad was still insisting this ridiculous rules stay in place. George had been pretty cool though and a few times has let me use his phone, I think he feels pretty sorry for me.

I walked straight to my room, coming down only to make a basic dinner for everyone. Most of the time it was a toasted sandwich or a pasta bake, something quick so I could hide back in my room – with my door open another rule. 

Tonight I had just finished making a salad, while James ended up grilling some steaks. “Are you ok Anna Banana? You are not your normal annoying self.” He said. James had been away for the last two weeks with Ed in Melbourne, which was complete torture, as much as I love my oldest brother I needed the other two to defuse the situation.

I just shook my head at his question, I was still furious about the whole thing.

“What is this standoff with dad about?” He asked seriously, so George and Dad must have kept quiet about everything.

“I really don’t think that you want to know…” I said not meeting his eyes.

“Come on? No secrets.” James said smiling.

“Lillian walked in on Nick and I…in a compromising situation. Then Lillian called dad.” I said my cheeks burning.

“Are you fucking serious?” James said covering his mouth in shock, but also trying to hide his smile.

“I mean do I look like I’m joking?” I said, I did briefly find the humour in this situation, but it had since disappeared.

“I’ll talk to him Anna.” He said nudging me slightly.

Dad walked into the kitchen, with George and Ed in tow. They were laughing about something, but 

sensing the seriousness in the kitchen it died down fairly quickly.

We all sat around the table, it was the first one I had sat down to since my imprisonment. The boys told us all about their trip, it was great they had such a good time. Ed has found somewhere he wants to rent, he is going back to Melbourne for University, I am going to miss him so much.

“So what has been going on around here?” James ventured carefully.

The room was silent, “Dad was put me on full on lockdown. Because Lillian walked in on me and Nick about to have se…” I said, but was interrupted.

“ANNA.” Dad raised his voice to silence me. Ed and George were particularly wide eyed at my outburst, James just stifled a giggle.

“Yes Dad?” I said, I think the other boys being back made me bold.

 

“Don’t you dare speak like that.” He warned under his breath.

“When is this lockdown over dad?” I asked meeting his eyes.

“When I decide it is Anna.” He said getting up from the chair to put is plate in the sink.

James, Ed and George all motioned for me to get out of the room, I gave them all crazy eyes but did as I was instructed. Just as I was walking about the stairs, I heard George speak first, “Dad don’t you think you are being a little harsh…” That’s all I head before shutting my bedroom door.

I found Ed’s phone on my bed, with a little note, “Go nuts sis.” My brothers were possibly the coolest people ever.

Nick and I had literally no time to ourselves since the incident two weeks ago, we saw each other at school, but we were constantly around other people and never actually got to talk about stuff. He was my first call.

The phone was ringing and my heart was beating in anticipation, he answered fairly quickly, but when we answered there was a lot of background noise.

“Ed?” He called over the noise.

“No it’s me,” my voice was barely above a whisper, I didn’t want anyone to hear me.

“Anna? You have a phone?!” He sounded ecstatic, I could tell he was trying to find a quiet corner, he also sounded a little bit drunk.

“Where are you?” I asked curiously.

“I’m at a party Anna. Is your dad relenting?” He asked, he was slurring and I couldn’t help but feel 

irritated, I was stuck at home and he wasn’t talk about double standard.

“Nope, Ed left his phone for me. Whose party are you at?” I asked interested that he didn’t tell me he was going to a party at lunch earlier that day.

“That’s nice of him, um it’s…its Millie’s party. Will is here with me.” He said, I think trying to justify him being at her party.

“Oh. Why didn’t you tell me you were going? I asked, I couldn’t help myself.

“I didn’t know I was going, she texted me after school. There was no way I could contact you.” He said slurring a bit.

“Well don’t let me keep you, I’ll talk to you soon.” I said quickly.

“Hey wait a second. I miss you Anna Banana.” He said sincerely.

“I miss you too, Nick.” I said my voice cracking slightly, tears pooling in my eyes.

“Are you ok?” He asked, even though he was a little bit drunk he could hear the sadness in my voice.

“Yeah I’m ok, better when dad calms down.” I said sniffling.                  

“Do you want me to come over tomorrow? Try and talk to him with you?” He asked.

“Such a sweet gesture, can I let you know tomorrow?” I said smiling into the phone.

“Of course beautiful girl.” He said, that is when I heard Millie in the background, “Come and dance with me Nick?”

“Millie.” His voice warned, while he was trying to cover the speaker in a hurry.

My heart started hammering in my chest, “Nick?” I said trying to keep my voice calm.

“Anna Banana that was nothing, Millie is a bit drunk and she’s asking everyone to dance. We are at a 

house party, like I said Will is here.” He said talking quickly, trying to explain.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow hopefully, or I’ll see you at school on Monday.” I said, my voice had no emotion.

“Anna please don’t get off the phone like this.” He said a twinge of sadness in his voice.

Just then I heard the familiar sound of clomp, clomp, clomp up the stairs, my dad’s boots.

“Nick, I have to go Dads coming.”

“Ok beautiful.” He said sadly and we hung up. I quickly stuffed the phone behind a pillow.

So another thing that Nick hasn’t communicated to me, again to do with Millie. I only had a second to think about it though, because Dad knocked on my door and walked in. He was carrying my phone, laptop, iPad and keys.

“Monkey, I’ve been speaking to your brothers and I think I may have been a little hard on you.” He said gently.

“I would have to agree dad.” I said taking my phone and placing it straight on charge, before gesturing for him to sit next to me on my bed.

I just smiled and gave him a big, “I promise, I won’t grow up to much.”

“I think it’s a bit late for that Monkey.” He said giving me a quick smooch on the forehead, and 

walking out of the room.

I went downstairs a little while later to see what the rest of the family were up to, and I needed to thank them for everything.  All three of them were set up in front of the PlayStation, playing some car game. I plonked beside them.

“Your first night of freedom and you are going to hang out with you smelly brothers.” George said elbowing me. I gave him a swift kiss on the cheek, followed by a punch in the arm. George had been super supportive lately, not once mentioning to Dad about Nick meeting me out the front of school every day. He took me out for ice cream after school a few times, just to keep me out of the house, he was a good brother.

“What about us?” James said with mock outrage.

“I appreciate it guys, you know that I do.” I said smiling at them. “I may even make pancakes for you all in the morning to show how much!” I snatched the controller out of Ed’s hands to I could play, I of course was useless, but we had such a good night it didn’t matter.  Dad even came out and sat with us for a little bit.

The awesome night with my family, let me forget for a minute about Nick’s latest mistruth. I don’t know how to go about this, I can’t really be mad because I didn’t have a phone. But surely he had an idea he was going? Bah. I don’t know.

A Little Bit Of Cancer

*Fridays post is a long one! :) Just to make up for this little one..Also I promise it will be up by 8am Sydney, Australia time. Sorry for the late upload today, I've been killing myself at work trying to get everything wrapped up by Christmas (I am currently doing my managers role and mine and its tough!) I hope you are all enjoying my blog. I don't get a lot of feedback via the comments but I'm hoping that will grow! See you guys soon! :)

The drive to the hospital felt like forever, but in truth I knew Mick was speeding. Lillian and Mick had not really told us much, just that my mum was readmitted to hospital and that she wasn’t very well at all. Lillian sprang out of the car and dragged me along with her, while the boys parked the car.

As we walked through the crisp hospital corridors to the room the nurse pointed us to I grabbed onto Lillian’s hand, I still didn’t know what to expect.

I walked into the hospital room Lillian on my heels. My brothers were scattered throughout the room and my dad was sitting on mum’s bed, tears were rolling down both of their cheeks.

“Anna.” Mum greeted me in a crockey voice.

“Mum, what’s going on?” I asked moving towards her slowly like she was a ticking time bomb, which for all I knew she was.

“Come here darling.” She said gently moving my dad away, struggling to speak.

“Mum.” I said sitting next to her, looking at my brothers for clues, they were looking down at their feet.

“Baby, things aren’t going to well for me.” She said with a sad smile.

“What’s going on?” I asked for what felt like the hundredth time tonight.

“Well, this little bit of cancer is causing me some headaches. It doesn’t want to seem to get the hell out of my body. So your dad and I made a decision, I stopped chemo some weeks ago...and well I have an infection.” She said, trying to keep the humor in her voice.

“You stopped chemo?” I asked furiously. “Without speaking to us?” Tears now streaming down my face.

“Anna.” My dad cut in.

“Its fine. It was wasn’t working baby, and I was told I would have 3-6 months, and I wanted to live 

that not feeling like the life was sucked out of me before I absolutely had to.” She said tears filling her eyes again.

“So what now?” I asked grabbing her hands tightly, fearing what was next.

“Well. They are going to try and get this infection under control and then we will see.” Mum said with a humourless smile.

“What if they don’t get this infection under control?” I asked trying to control the nausea.

“We aren’t there yet baby.” She said smiling sadly at Lillian who was weeping silently in the corner, I suppose Lillian knew what was in store for us before we did.

Mum was in CT so I took it as the perfect opportunity to take a breath, the last half an hour was a flurry of doctors and nurses in and out. I walked down the corridor and I saw Nick and Will sitting there with Mick.

“Hey guys.” I said gently shaking Nicks shoulder, he had drifted off to sleep.

“Anna.” Will said standing up to give me a hug.

“You guys are so sweet for still being here.” I said hugging Nick.

“Where else would we be?” Nick said.

“What’s going on in there?” Mick asked leaning down kissing my forehead.

“Well…mum has an infection and she has stopped chemo, we aren’t really sure what’s happening.” I 

said tears falling down my face.

“Oh Anna.” Nick said pulling me in for a hug.

“I can’t control anything at the moment but everyone wants food…so I am going to get food.” I said.

“No Anna, we will go for you…” Nick said gently ushering me back to mums door.

“Thank you.” I said pulling him in for another hug, he was holding me so tight, I wished that I could feel that comfort all the time.

Everyone Except Me

*Sorry its up a few hours late :)

Nick and I rode home in silence, we had one of the most awkward conversations with his mum that either of us have ever had to endure.

Just before we pulled into my driveway Nick stopped up on the road a little bit.

“If we don’t talk about this now Anna, I know you are just going to shut off.” He said, his body was directed to me but his eyes were travelling the length of my body. I took a big breath in and turned to face him.

“Nick your mum literally just showed us how to put a condom on using a banana, gave us brochure after brochure on birth control and all but booked me an appointment for the doctor in morning.” I said, thinking to myself that this information probably could have been put to better use with Nick and Millie about 6 months prior.

“I know, it was…” He didn’t have a clue what to say. I met his eyes and bit my lip, a small smile danced across my lips which he noticed.

“Anna Banana, are you about to laugh?” He said amusement registering in his eyes. The next second we both burst out laughing and we couldn’t stop. We were laughing until tears ran down our cheeks and we couldn’t breathe.

Once we finally caught our breath and regain our composure, I reached up and touched my hand to his cheek. I pulled him down to meet my lips, he kissed me gently at first and our bodies reacted fast, it was like we were on fast forward to the moment we were interrupted just an hour earlier. Nicks hand reached under my shirt, this time just going straight for a grab, his patience had obviously worn thin. My phone started ringing loudly and was like we both came crashing back to reality and realised what we were doing and where, we both pulled back and I ignored the call while we tried to catch our breath. It was my dad calling,

“God you’re driving me crazy.” Nick said running his fingers through his hair, I offered his a small smile while I worked on readjusting my clothes. Just then my phone started ringing again, this time I answered.

“Hi Dad.” I said trying to sound calm.

“WHERE ARE YOU?” He shouted through the phone. “YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE STAYING AT MARIE'S TO WORK ON AN ASSIGNMENT AND I GET A CALL FROM LILIAN TELLING ME THAT SHE JUST WALKED IN ON YOU AND NICK.” My eyes were wide, and so were Nicks - he had heard the yelling through the phone, we never thought Lilian would EVER tell me dad about this.

“Dad I am two minutes away, I promise. Can we talk about this when I get home?” I said trying to sound calm, but feeling anything but.

“FINE.” He said hanging up.

“Nick. He is going to kill us.” I said dramatically, while he flew the car into drive and started towards my house, at the same time he was calling Lilian for an explanation. Not that it mattered, I was dead.

“Anna, I am so sorry.” Nick said while breaking many traffic rules getting me home.

I was breathing heavily only this time was pure fear. Nicks left leg was bouncing up and down. I put my hand on it to calm him.

“Should I come inside with you?” He asked. It was a sweet gesture but a terrible idea.

“No. I think no.” Turns out he didn’t have to fret Dad was pacing out the front of the house waiting for us. I squeezed Nicks hand when I got out of the car, and Dad gave him the biggest death stare ever, Nick just did an awkward half smile in response.

“Get inside.” He said to me. I walked into the kitchen, placing my bag on the table waiting to hear the wrath dad was going to lay on me. Instead he simply opened my bag and took my phone out and started walking to his bedroom.

“Dad...” I started, but he turned around quickly.

“No phone, no internet, no car privileges and no after school visits with your friends.” He said so sternly I didn’t dare question him.  I followed him and marched to my room, slamming the door slightly louder than necessary.

I knew he’d be pissed off, Dads don’t like hearing about their little girls sex life (or lack thereof in my case) but what he didn’t realise was that I was practically a saint. I am falling in love with a guy who treats me like a princess, I have been with him longer than a week and has been around since forever. Everyone I knew was having sex. Everyone except me.