Delay

Hi everyone,

I'm with my family at the moment so I'm havig a hard time accessing internet without 100 neice and nephews looking over my shoulder! I will be posting today but I just think it'll be a bit late like 5:30pm  Sydney australia time! If for some reason I can't post I'll do it early tomorrow! I meant to schedule it but it's been a bit hectic for me lately!


Thanks everyone :)

Happy holidays!!

Awkward Silence

 *I am going away next week so I am hoping to continue posting as normal but we shall see! :) 

Maybe even a bonus post! I hope you all are enjoying the blog!

I had told my dad and brothers that Nick was coming to dinner. I expected some awkwardness, just not quite so much.

My dad was surprisingly supporting of Nick coming over for dinner, my brothers just grunted at me when I told them.

I made a simple veggie and chicken stir-fry that tasted absolutely beautiful if you ask me. The doorbell rang right on 7pm, the exact time Nick said he would be here.

“I’ll get it.” James called out, I quickly flanked him, James was the most likely to be nice to Nick but you could never be so sure.

He flung the door open, Nicked looked a little pale.

“Hey man.” James went in for a quick man hug.

“James.” Nick said returning his hug.

They were talking about something I wasn’t interested in, so I walked ahead to the kitchen. Everything was all ready to go, I served it quickly and called out the back door to the shed, where my dad, George and Ed were doing something.

We all sat around the table talking about safe subjects. Safe subjects like football, school, and James’ travel. Then the long stretch of silence began, I started counting about a minute in. 2 minutes and forty five seconds of silence. Seriously time it out, it is awful.

“So…” James started, trying to break the tension.

“What are your plans for next year Nick?” He asked.

“Well Anna and I are talking about doing some travelling…” He started saying, but my crazy eyes cut him off. I hadn’t told my dad about that yet and no doubt he wouldn’t be happy.

“But you know. No firm plans yet.” He attempted to laugh it off.

“Of course there is no firm plans yet. You still have 6 months left of school.” Dad said seriously.

Bloody hell.

“Look this is a little uncomfortable for everyone, let’s just get through dinner without killing each other or me ending up grounded.” I said dramatically.

My dad looked and me and chuckled to himself, “Alright then love.” We wrapped it up pretty quickly after that. My brothers and Nick talking mostly about sports and stuff I didn’t really care about to be honest.

“Ok, I’m going to head off to bed.” Dad said, while I was packing up the dishes off the table, all of my brothers scrammed away too leaving Nick and I to clean up. Which I was very thankful for.

“I can’t believe they actually left us alone.” I murmured to Nick while he was putting away the dishes.

He just winked at me in response, “I’ve missed you Anna.” He said pulling me in for a quick hug.

“It’ll make things a lot easier now we can actually see each other.” I said pulling him towards me again.

“Do you want to go to a party on Friday?” Nick asked me while I was wiping up the dining room table.

“Whose party?” I asked.

“Ellie’s having a little gathering.” He answered.

“Yeah, ok that sounds like fun.” I said racking my brain to see if she had mentioned anything to me.

“We can pre drink at mine, my parents are going away.” Nick said, this is the first I’ve heard about 

that.

“Ok, I’ll see if one of the boys will drive us in.” I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable, was there a reason Nick hadn’t mentioned his family was going away and his house would be empty?

The night was pretty much done then, I edited one of Nick’s assignments which I had completed the previous week due to my lock down, and then it was time for him to leave.

Flashback: Cheaters Beware

“Bullshit.” James yelled, he and mum were playing cards and he had lost for about the third time in a row.

“James.” My dad scolded him. Mum just winked at me, she had a special skill for card games, I am 99% sure that the special skill was cheating but I wasn’t about to blow her cover.

The doctors have speculated on mum’s condition, the cancer was worsening and the infection was accelerating a lot faster than they had expected. The news was bleak and a lot worse than any of us had hoped, but in our true family we way we were dealing with it by mostly ignoring it.

“Go do something useful, food or check on the winery I don’t care.” Mum ordered the boys as she was gently kicking him off.

“Fine!” James said as he was being forcibly removed from the bed.

“Now all the boys out of the room, I need to have a chat with Anna.” Mum said, gently pushing my brother off her bed.

I giggled as I watched them leave the room, mum patted the bed next to her and my stomach dropped. 

I knew she was going to pass on some wisdom, which I was not entirely ready to hear.

She took a big sigh of a relief and collapsed against the pillows as I sat next to her, it was clear she was putting a show on for the others.

Tears filled her eyes immediately, “Anna. I am so sorry baby girl. I am going to leave you with all those boys, I love them but they are a pain in the ass.”

“Mum. Please.” I said hoping that she would stop.

“Anna darling. You are going to take this the hardest. When I go…it’s not going to be easy for any of 

you but you especially.” Mum explained as I was gulping down the rising bile in my throat.

“Why?” I asked already knowing the answer.

“Because people are going to expect more from you. They are going to expect you to take care of everyone and I want to tell you that it’s ok if you are not ok. God I think I would be insulted if you were.” She said winking at me, slightly out of breath her eyes filling with tears.

“It’s not fair mum.” I said tears spilling down my cheeks.

“Don’t I know it baby.” She said smiling at my through tears. “I feel like I need to impart some 

 wisdom to you.”

“We don’t need to make this some life time movie mum. I just want to be here with you.” I feel into her chest struggling for breath.

“I just need to say a few things ok.” She said stroking my hair, I just nodded.

“Anna you know I love you with all my heart, but I think your expectations can be too high for people. The world is not black and white and the sooner you realise that the easier things will be.” She said, now it definitely felt like a life time movie except the grief I was experiencing felt crushing.

“What else?” I said looking up at her.

“Well now to the contrary never ever lower your standards for a man. He will be someone fantastic, someone your dad gives you trouble about. Someone your brothers like and trust. But my darling if it happens to be someone you know please don’t allow yourself to get stuck in Eden. It is a beautiful town, but it is not somewhere a young woman with so much potential should live for the rest of her life. You are practically useless on the farm.” Tears were streaming down both of our faces now.

“I feel like I’m drowning mum. It’s too much.” I said practically gasping for breath.

“I know baby. But Lillian will take care of you ok. I have made her promise.” She said.

“She isn’t you. Why are you do you have to leave me?”

“Don’t you worry baby I plan to take that question straight to the big man when I get there.” She said smiling at me.

“I have one more question for you.” I said smiling.

“Hit me with it baby.” She said looking down at me.

“How do you win at cards all the time?” I asked.

“Oh well. I cheat.” She answered with a cheeky grin, “But I swear if you tell anyone I will deny it.”

It May Have Been Oscar Worthy

I kept my phone turned off all weekend, I could decide what to say to Nick, so I thought it would be best if I just stayed off the grid for a couple more days. 

I rolled up to school in my car and felt pretty damn awesome. I loved having my independence back, 

now it was time to face my friends.

Nick was sitting on the chair outside the school waiting for me. I walked across the car park towards him, he saw me and his eyes lit up. “You have your car?” He said shouting across the students in between us. I reached into my handbag and pulled out my phone and waved it at him.

“AND A PHONE!” he bellowed louder than necessary.  I just smiled at him, and wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. We walked to the side of the entrance of the school, so we could catch up.

“When did you get all this back?” He said smiling.

“Late last night!” I lied, I didn’t want him knowing I did not contact him the whole weekend.

 “You could have called me straight away…” He said meeting my eyes.

“Now I’ll be calling you all the time.” I said smiling.

“Anna, can we talk about Friday?” He asked, looking a bit serious.

“What is there to say Nick?” I said dropping my arms down my side quickly.

“So you are mad?” He asked searching my face.

“I’m just confused. I don’t know why you didn’t tell me.” I said.

“I told you I got the text after school?” He said softly.

I couldn’t help it, my eyes involuntarily rolled, “Anna, I promise you.” Nick responded quickly.

I looked up, meeting his eyes, they were wide with fear. I suddenly looked at him, really looked at him, remembering how that Nick is my friend first. He would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, I truly believe that, in that moment all my anger floated away and I really wanted was a cuddle that never ended.

I smiled up at him, and wrapping my arms around him tight and burying my face into his chest. Nick kissed the top of my head, and after a couple of minutes gently untangling himself from my grasp.

“We better go to class, beautiful.” He said wrapping his arm around my side leading the way.

By lunchtime I was ecstatic with my new found freedom, being at home so much in the last few weeks meant I was ahead in almost all of my classes.

We all sat at our usual lunch table, and even though we had done for the few weeks, I was in such a good mood.

“What can we do tonight?” I asked Will, Marie and Nick.

“Anna its Monday, and we live in Eden.” Marie said, immediately uninterested in my plan to make a plan.

“Movies?” I looked hopefully towards Nick and Will.

“We have to do that essay.” Will said motioning towards Nick. I looked wide eyed at Nick, waiting to see if he would take pity on me.

“Well we will have to go to the later session, I have a few bits to fix up on the essay too.” He smiled.

“Yay. Thank you baby.” I said giving his a quick peck.

Nick walked me to my car after lunch, I had a free afternoon so decided to go home early.

“So are we just going to meet at the movies?” I asked him, gripping his school shirt.

He smiled and scratched the back of his neck, “I don’t know. Is that ok? I can come and get you if you like.” He had a nervous smile tracing his lips.

“I think it would probably be best if we just met there. I was only given a break from dad.” I said.

“Mum and I had a talk, she agrees she may not have gone about it the right way, she said she didn’t really think about it until after. Still things that she made the right decision though. ” He said, leaning against my car.

“What’s done is done, it doesn’t matter now. I think we are just going to have to be prepared to never have a second alone again.” I said giggling.

“Don’t remind me.” He said, pulling me in and kissing the top of my hair.

“Maybe you should come over for dinner tomorrow. It’ll show maturity.” I said, not sure if I may be pushing it too far too soon.

“I think that is a good idea...” He said, mustering up genuine enthusiasm for my offer.

“Ok, so I’ll see you at the movies at like 8pm?” I said opening my car door and sliding in.

“Sounds perfecto.” He said stepping away from the car to let me go.

Nick and I are actually had a really good night at the movie, we had the cinema all to ourselves, so we just talked a lot and made out a little. I couldn’t tell you if I actually had I liked the movie, because we barely watched a minute of it.