We Do Not Remember Days, We Remember Moments.

 *Pretty excited for this post let me know what you think in the comments section! :)

Nick, Marie, Will and I decided to have a movie marathon on Sunday night, his parents weren’t due home until Monday afternoon they were still on an art scouting mission, I told my dad the truth this time, he grunted at me and turned his attention back to whatever he was working on in the shed.

“We are not watching Mean Girls.” Nick said, after Marie and I had been bugging them for 10 minutes to watch it.

“Why not?” I asked.

Nick just gave me an ‘Are you serious look?’ look.

“Fine, what should we watch?” Marie said. “What about the new Spiderman movie?” She suggested.

“Sounds good to me.” Will said, while Nick and I nodded in agreement. Will set the movie up while 

Nick and I got comfortable spooning position on the couch.

“You guys are too cute.” Marie said winking at me.

We watched the movie, but before I knew it I was battling to keep my eyes open. I turned around and snuggled into Nick’s chest, where I slept for the rest of the movie. I woke up a couple times and Nick was playing with my hair and I was lulled to sleep again.

“Hey Anna.” Nick said gently rubbing my back and kissing my hair. I looked up at him thoroughly confused.

“Its ok, the others just left do you want to get into bed so you’re more comfortable?” He asked me, I was still gazing up at him, trying to work out how long I fell asleep.

“Yeah bed.” I said swinging my legs off the edge of the couch and walking towards Nick’s room.

Nick followed and we both started getting ready for bed, I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and got changed into one of Nick’s t-shirts to sleep in.

I walked back into the Nick’s bedroom, he was already in bed, he was just in boxer briefs and a sheet draped over him, I was too tired to even appreciate the view, I climbed over Nick to the far side of the bed and pulled back the covers and snuggled up to him.

“Good night beautiful girl.” Nick said running his hand up and down my back and kissing my forehead.  

I smiled up to him and kissed his shoulder, “Goodnight.” I said sleep already taking over me and I snuggled into him as close as I could get.

I woke up early the next morning, Nick and I must have slept deeply because we were both in the same position we fell asleep in. I was snuggled up to him. Nicks room was fairly big his bed was against a window and I turned my head to enjoy to the sun that was streaming through the gap in the blinds. I suddenly noticed all the small things in the room, next to the bed there was a bed side table with a photo of the two of us on it, we looked so incredibly happy in it. I was sitting on his lap with my head thrown back laughing, Nick was looking up to me smiling a big toothy grin. I think Marie must have taken it, I remember it was at a party and to be honest it wasn’t a very good party but the four of us still had fun. Across his bedroom was his build in wardrobe where he cleared space for me so I could hang up a few clothes I always need.  It quickly struck me how much I meant to him, I know it sounds stupid but I have never really thought about it from his point of view before. He has had such a big impact in my life, I have had the best 4 months, and I am so grateful for everything Nick has given me. But I have never thought about how much he loved me.

I got up and went straight to the bathroom, I fixed my hair, washed my face and quickly brushed my 

teeth before getting back into bed.

Just as I was getting comfortable, Nick started stirring “Good morning.” Nick said his voice thick with sleep.

“Hello my fantastic and very sexy boyfriend.” I said leaning down and planting a few kisses on his chest.

“I wish I got that greeting every time I saw you.” He smiled his eyes still closed.

I hovered about him and leant down to kiss him, he turned his head so I kissed his cheek. Then opened his eyes and smiled at me.

I did an expression of mock outrage, “Let me brush my teeth first.” He said apologetically.

“Well go brush them.” I said gently kicking him out of the bed.

“Ok, ok.” He said laughing putting his hands up in defeat.

Nick came back fairly quickly and immediately leaned down and kissed me.

Nick floated over me and I pulled him down on top of me.

 It moved fairly quickly from there and that is how Nick and I had sex for the first time.

 
 It was perfect and lovely, just as I had hoped.

Anger Swells In My Gut

***Sorry blame holiday brain cant believe I uploaded the same post twice!! :) Check back tomorrow for a new post! xo

I received a text from Nick very early Saturday morning, ‘Did Billy give you a lift home last night?’

‘Yes.’ I replied.

‘Nice Anna.’ His reply came quickly.

‘How else did you expect me to go home?’ I quipped, I knew I was being super immature but I didn’t 

care.

‘You could have come with us.’

‘Oh yes. Millie and I in the same car. Fantastic idea Nick. I don’t think you realise how hurt and embarrassed I am about last night. You had a choice last night Nick, and you chose Millie in front of everybody.’ I replied.

Nick tried to call me after that message, I hit ignore and got out of bed into the shower. Marie and I were meeting at the lake this morning, we were hoping to get a couple of more lake days before it got to cold.

I drove straight to Maries when I was ready, I waited in her driveway for her to get her butt into gear.

“How you feeling this morning?” Marie asked me.

“I’m so angry Marie. So much angrier than last night.” I said I was driving to Will’s house.

“I know. I understand completely, you have every right to be angry.” Marie said.

“He found out Billy gave us a lift home last night, and he tried to throw it in my face. Like he 

dropped me off first.” I practically shouted.

“You can imagine what he thought though.” Marie said.

“Can you imagine what I think happened between them? My thoughts are going crazy. Like did he take her inside her house and talk with her for another hour, or did she sleep at his? Did they cuddle? 

 Did he whispers in her ear that it was all going to be ok like he does to me when I’m upset?” I finished finally taking a breath.

“I didn’t even think of it like that.” Marie said softly.

Suddenly I burst in to tears, my emotions combined with my hangover finally spilled over.

“Anna.” Marie soothed.

“I can’t keep going on like this.” I said through tears.

I pulled into Wills driveway and immediately saw that Nick’s car was in the driveway.

I sighed and tried to fix my face so it wasn’t obvious I just had a complete mental breakdown.

Nick and Will walked out the front of the house with towels and boogie boards, “Anna, if you want we can ditch the boys. I’ll make up and excuse just say the word.” Marie said.

“It’s fine.” I smiled at her.

They climbed into the back seat and no-one said anything.

“Good morning everyone.” Will said.

“Hey Will.” I smiled, and I threw the car in drive and off we went to the lake.

The tension was palpable in the car, I was getting angrier and angrier by the minute. The drive to the lake was only about 10 minutes which was good.

I pulled into the car park and we all piled out of the car.

“Anna.” Nick said grabbing my arm.

I turned around and snatched my arm back quickly, while the other two kept on walking.

“Yes.” I replied rather coldly.

“I shouldn’t have taken Millie home last night.” He said.

“No shit. Of course you shouldn’t have.” I said, I was at boiling point.

“Anna please. I don’t know how to stop feeling so guilty for what happened.” Nick said.

“Well you need to figure it out, I can’t play second best to your ex-girlfriend, and I understand you guys were in a shitty position, she made a decision she needs to start accepting it.” I said referring to the abortion.

“I know, I agree.” He said looking down at the ground.

“What happened last night? She didn’t stay at yours did she?” I asked.

“No of course not. I went to her house dropped her off and her brother gave me a lift home.” He 

explained.

“Good…I think you need to talk to Millie about it all. If we have a repeat of yesterday…we are…its not going to work.” I said looking down.

“I’ll talk to her, I promise you.” Nick said taking a step forward and tucking a strand of my hair behind my hair.

“Do you want to ask me about Billy?” I said looking up at him.

“I know nothing happened Anna banana.” He said pulling me in for a hug and giving me a quick kiss on the forehead. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like the guy.”

Finding Comfort In The Wrong Places - Two posts

Hi everyone,

SO sorry about my disappearing act... We went away over the break and I was planning on scheduling the posts but I was so busy I didnt have time, so I was planning on bringing my hard drive with me with the posts but I forgot that too....I am awful seriously! I should have logged on and explained but I was pretty busy with the kiddlets! 

Thanks everyone. This is two posts in one and I will be uploading everyday this week - hopefully much earlier then this!! :)

Post:

I had told my dad and brothers that Nick was coming to dinner. I expected some awkwardness, but not literally sitting in silence for 3 minutes. 

My dad was surprisingly supporting of Nick coming over for dinner, my brothers just grunted at me when I told them.

I made a simple veggie and chicken stir-fry that tasted absolutely beautiful if you ask me. The doorbell rang right on 7pm, the exact time Nick said he would be here.

“I’ll get it.” James called out, I quickly flanked him, James was the most likely to be nice to Nick but you could never be so sure.

He flung the door open, Nicked looked a little pale.

“Hey man.” James went in for a quick man hug.

“James.” Nick said returning his hug.

They were talking about something I wasn’t interested in, so I walked ahead to the kitchen. Everything was all ready to go, I served it quickly and called out the back door to the shed, where my dad, George and Ed were doing something.

We all sat around the table talking about safe subjects. Safe subjects like football, school, and James’ travel. Then the long stretch of silence began, I started counting about a minute in. 3 minutes of silence. Seriously time it out, it is awful. I ended up giving James the crazy eyes and he talked about some football game from like 10 years ago that apparently they all knew about. Finally the conversation began again. Even if I had no clue what they were talking about.

“Ok, I’m going to head off to bed.” Dad said, while I was packing up the dishes off the table, all of my brothers scrammed away too leaving Nick and I to clean up. Which I was very thankful for.

“I can’t believe they actually left us alone.” I murmured to Nick while he was putting away the 

dishes.

He just winked at me in response, “I’ve missed you Anna.” He said pulling me in for a quick hug.

“It’ll make things a lot easier now we can actually see each other.” I said pulling him towards me again.

“Do you want to go to a party on Friday?” Nick asked me while I was wiping up the dining room table.

“Whose party?” I asked.

“Ellie’s having a little gathering.” He answered.

“Yeah, ok that sounds like fun.” I said racking my brain to see if she had mentioned anything to me.

“We can pre drink at mine, my parents are going away.” Nick said, this is the first I’ve heard about 

that.

“Ok, I’ll see if one of the boys will drive us in.” I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable, was there a reason Nick hadn’t mentioned his family was going away and his house would be empty?

The night was pretty much done then, I edited one of Nick’s assignments which I had completed the previous week due to my lock down, and then it was time for him to leave.

 

Post:

All four of us got ready for Ellie’s party at Nicks house, we drove straight from school to his house and all showered, before deciding to watch a movie before getting ready.

“No!” I screamed as yet another person got killed in this awful movie.

“Fuck this.” Marie said throwing her hands up in the air.

“Guys the movie was called The Murder Diaries, how did you not expect this?” Nick said.

Marie and I decided to stop watching, we went into the kitchen and got ourselves a cider.

“That movie is horrific, why are they watching it?” Marie asked.

“No idea.” I answered, I lowered my voice a bit, and I asked “Do you think it’s weird that Nick didn’t tell me that his parents were going away?”

She thought for a second, “I don’t think so…maybe he thought after last time it would be too much.”

“Hmmm, I suppose so. Do I just go home tonight then?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I guess you just wait until you have a few drinks and then ask him.” She smiled at me.

I nodded and soon the boys joined us in the kitchen, “We turned the movie off.” Nick said sitting next to me, while Will grabbed them both drinks.

“That movie was awful.” I said shaking my head, trying to rid the memory.

“Are you all excited for tonight?” Nick asked giving me a quick kiss on the forehead.

“Should be a good night.” Will said and we all agreed.

I went into Nick’s room to start getting ready, he had a big mirror in his room so I just sat there and started fiddling with my hair, should I go up or down, curly or straight, or half, half. Being a girl was so complicated sometimes.

Nick came in to his bedroom and sat on his bed, silently watching me getting ready. We kept catching each other’s eyes in the mirror and I decided to get up and sit next to him.

“You know I hate it when you watch me.” I said sitting close to him.

“Do you think it’s weird I didn’t tell you my parents were going away?” He asked me suddenly.

“To be honest, yes I do a bit.” I said laying my head on his shoulder and giving him a kiss on the arm.

“I didn’t know if I should mention it…or if it would be weird…or you had reconsidered things.” He 

said wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Its ok, I think we are both overthinking it a bit.” I said shoving him gently.

“Come here.” He said laying down and pulling me down next to him.

We laid down next to each other enjoying the quiet, beside the other two and the occasional singing we could hear from the bathroom.

I let my eyes close briefly, “Ehhhh you guys clothed?” Marie said half covering her eyes.

“Of course we are, come in Marie.” I said sitting up and returning to my place by the mirror.

James dropped us off to the party. We had all had a bit to the drink and stumbled inside, I was wearing a black dress and a brown sandals, Marie had gone for a coloured maxi and some nude flats, the boys were just wearing shorts and shirts.

Ellie ran over and gave us all a big hug, she got us a drink and pulled me onto the dance floor.

“I’m so happy you and Nick are together. You just work you know.” Ellie said while we were dancing, Ellie was a cool chick, she was chilled out, she kind of floats around the groups but she is very genuine and lots of fun.

“Thank you, that is very sweet.” I said laughing, then Ellie decided it was a wonderful idea if we did shots.

About half an hour later I went on the search for Nick, I walked outside and saw him sitting with Millie, she was hysterically crying and Nick was rubbing her back. What annoyed me most was they were sitting secluded from everyone else, while her friends watched on from the sidelines.

I debated whether to walk over there or go back inside and find someone to talk to. I could see a few people watching me, waiting for a reaction. So I did the mature thing and turned on my heel walked back inside and found Ellie and Marie and we did another round of shots.

“I’m going to ask you something, and I don’t want you to get annoyed.” Ellie slurred while we all piled into the bathroom.

“Ok, hit me.” I said trying to reapply my lipstick without it going everywhere.

“Why are you so fine with Millie and Nick always being alone and talking? She is out the freaking out at the moment, fully occupying his attention and you are in here with us.” Ellie hiccupped 

through her sentence.

“I…they went through some stuff, and he is still helping her through. I don’t know, it bloody sucks.” I said tears immediately sprung to my eyes.

“Oh Anna…I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have bought it up.” Ellie apologised and Marie shot me a concerned look.

“It’s fine. Maybe we should get back out there.” I said opening the door and walking out.

We all found another drink and headed out to the dance floor.

“Anna.” I felt Nick touching my back, right behind him was Millie.

“Yes?” I said giving her a cold look over his shoulder.

“I’ve got to take Millie home, do you want to come with us?” He said avoiding my eyes.

“There’s no one else?” I asked a little angrily.

“No Anna there isn’t.” Millie interrupted.

“Millie.” Nick warned.

“Do what you have to do.” I said to Nick.

“Anna, come here.” Nick pulled me aside.

I followed him into the bathroom so we could talk, “Why have you spent the whole night with her?” I asked.

“Millie has been a mess have you seen her?” He asked.

“I have, but why do you have to the one to comfort her?” I was furious.

“You know why.” He replied.

“Fine. Well do what you have to do. I’ll get my own way home.” I walked straight out and ignored 

Nick calling out my name, he stormed out of the house Millie close behind.

Will, Marie and I gravitated towards each other, I was cold and sad and all I wanted to do was go home.

“How did he even get her home?” I asked.

“Millie bought her car with her and he drove her home.” Will answered.

“I need to go home.” I said looking around at our options for a lift home, it was slim pickings of sober drivers.

“Oi Anna, do you want a lift?” Billy called from across the room. It was sorted then, we had a lift.

Sorry! - post up tonight

There will be a post up this evening i promise! I'll explain everything!!