A Little Bit Of Cancer

*Fridays post is a long one! :) Just to make up for this little one..Also I promise it will be up by 8am Sydney, Australia time. Sorry for the late upload today, I've been killing myself at work trying to get everything wrapped up by Christmas (I am currently doing my managers role and mine and its tough!) I hope you are all enjoying my blog. I don't get a lot of feedback via the comments but I'm hoping that will grow! See you guys soon! :)

The drive to the hospital felt like forever, but in truth I knew Mick was speeding. Lillian and Mick had not really told us much, just that my mum was readmitted to hospital and that she wasn’t very well at all. Lillian sprang out of the car and dragged me along with her, while the boys parked the car.

As we walked through the crisp hospital corridors to the room the nurse pointed us to I grabbed onto Lillian’s hand, I still didn’t know what to expect.

I walked into the hospital room Lillian on my heels. My brothers were scattered throughout the room and my dad was sitting on mum’s bed, tears were rolling down both of their cheeks.

“Anna.” Mum greeted me in a crockey voice.

“Mum, what’s going on?” I asked moving towards her slowly like she was a ticking time bomb, which for all I knew she was.

“Come here darling.” She said gently moving my dad away, struggling to speak.

“Mum.” I said sitting next to her, looking at my brothers for clues, they were looking down at their feet.

“Baby, things aren’t going to well for me.” She said with a sad smile.

“What’s going on?” I asked for what felt like the hundredth time tonight.

“Well, this little bit of cancer is causing me some headaches. It doesn’t want to seem to get the hell out of my body. So your dad and I made a decision, I stopped chemo some weeks ago...and well I have an infection.” She said, trying to keep the humor in her voice.

“You stopped chemo?” I asked furiously. “Without speaking to us?” Tears now streaming down my face.

“Anna.” My dad cut in.

“Its fine. It was wasn’t working baby, and I was told I would have 3-6 months, and I wanted to live 

that not feeling like the life was sucked out of me before I absolutely had to.” She said tears filling her eyes again.

“So what now?” I asked grabbing her hands tightly, fearing what was next.

“Well. They are going to try and get this infection under control and then we will see.” Mum said with a humourless smile.

“What if they don’t get this infection under control?” I asked trying to control the nausea.

“We aren’t there yet baby.” She said smiling sadly at Lillian who was weeping silently in the corner, I suppose Lillian knew what was in store for us before we did.

Mum was in CT so I took it as the perfect opportunity to take a breath, the last half an hour was a flurry of doctors and nurses in and out. I walked down the corridor and I saw Nick and Will sitting there with Mick.

“Hey guys.” I said gently shaking Nicks shoulder, he had drifted off to sleep.

“Anna.” Will said standing up to give me a hug.

“You guys are so sweet for still being here.” I said hugging Nick.

“Where else would we be?” Nick said.

“What’s going on in there?” Mick asked leaning down kissing my forehead.

“Well…mum has an infection and she has stopped chemo, we aren’t really sure what’s happening.” I 

said tears falling down my face.

“Oh Anna.” Nick said pulling me in for a hug.

“I can’t control anything at the moment but everyone wants food…so I am going to get food.” I said.

“No Anna, we will go for you…” Nick said gently ushering me back to mums door.

“Thank you.” I said pulling him in for another hug, he was holding me so tight, I wished that I could feel that comfort all the time.