Flashback: Cheaters Beware

“Bullshit.” James yelled, he and mum were playing cards and he had lost for about the third time in a row.

“James.” My dad scolded him. Mum just winked at me, she had a special skill for card games, I am 99% sure that the special skill was cheating but I wasn’t about to blow her cover.

The doctors have speculated on mum’s condition, the cancer was worsening and the infection was accelerating a lot faster than they had expected. The news was bleak and a lot worse than any of us had hoped, but in our true family we way we were dealing with it by mostly ignoring it.

“Go do something useful, food or check on the winery I don’t care.” Mum ordered the boys as she was gently kicking him off.

“Fine!” James said as he was being forcibly removed from the bed.

“Now all the boys out of the room, I need to have a chat with Anna.” Mum said, gently pushing my brother off her bed.

I giggled as I watched them leave the room, mum patted the bed next to her and my stomach dropped. 

I knew she was going to pass on some wisdom, which I was not entirely ready to hear.

She took a big sigh of a relief and collapsed against the pillows as I sat next to her, it was clear she was putting a show on for the others.

Tears filled her eyes immediately, “Anna. I am so sorry baby girl. I am going to leave you with all those boys, I love them but they are a pain in the ass.”

“Mum. Please.” I said hoping that she would stop.

“Anna darling. You are going to take this the hardest. When I go…it’s not going to be easy for any of 

you but you especially.” Mum explained as I was gulping down the rising bile in my throat.

“Why?” I asked already knowing the answer.

“Because people are going to expect more from you. They are going to expect you to take care of everyone and I want to tell you that it’s ok if you are not ok. God I think I would be insulted if you were.” She said winking at me, slightly out of breath her eyes filling with tears.

“It’s not fair mum.” I said tears spilling down my cheeks.

“Don’t I know it baby.” She said smiling at my through tears. “I feel like I need to impart some 

 wisdom to you.”

“We don’t need to make this some life time movie mum. I just want to be here with you.” I feel into her chest struggling for breath.

“I just need to say a few things ok.” She said stroking my hair, I just nodded.

“Anna you know I love you with all my heart, but I think your expectations can be too high for people. The world is not black and white and the sooner you realise that the easier things will be.” She said, now it definitely felt like a life time movie except the grief I was experiencing felt crushing.

“What else?” I said looking up at her.

“Well now to the contrary never ever lower your standards for a man. He will be someone fantastic, someone your dad gives you trouble about. Someone your brothers like and trust. But my darling if it happens to be someone you know please don’t allow yourself to get stuck in Eden. It is a beautiful town, but it is not somewhere a young woman with so much potential should live for the rest of her life. You are practically useless on the farm.” Tears were streaming down both of our faces now.

“I feel like I’m drowning mum. It’s too much.” I said practically gasping for breath.

“I know baby. But Lillian will take care of you ok. I have made her promise.” She said.

“She isn’t you. Why are you do you have to leave me?”

“Don’t you worry baby I plan to take that question straight to the big man when I get there.” She said smiling at me.

“I have one more question for you.” I said smiling.

“Hit me with it baby.” She said looking down at me.

“How do you win at cards all the time?” I asked.

“Oh well. I cheat.” She answered with a cheeky grin, “But I swear if you tell anyone I will deny it.”